Have you ever felt so down that you actually got mad at almost everyone trying to engage in a conversation with you? Well that’s me right now (6 Oct 13:05), sometimes I feel so down, death is the only thing that makes sense. I feel so empty like things can never get any worse.
This is a kind of feeling I have to go through almost one or twice every two weeks or so, I’ve even self diagnosed myself with depression. The hardest part right now is seeking help, going out there and telling someone that “my life is falling apart and I need help” is really terrifying believe it or not. The kind of feeling I’m feeling now is that of “the world is not a better place for you” feeling, it’s sad I know, but writing it works better for me than to go and discuss it with some stranger.
You might notice that I said this is a recurring feeling, so writing it down is not really helping me with anything, well your probably right ’cause if my experiences don’t help me, they will most definitely help someone else out there, wich is a good thing.
If after reading that you see yourself in me, well there’s a lot you can do, I might be struggling right now emotionally, but music has always been there for me, if it wasn’t for music, probably I would have committed suicide years ago. So I’m grateful to music and music makers (musicians) for saving myself from self destruction. Oh this was just me thinking out loud (not literally) but this is one of those deep thoughts that goes through my mind when I’m alone in the dark
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